#I’m ed relapsing but like in a subtle way and it’s just such a hopeless feelings when you’re aware
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#I’m ed relapsing but like in a subtle way and it’s just such a hopeless feelings when you’re aware#all of my relapses have been abrupt I’m not used to this slower kind#I really would do anything to not have a restrictive eating disorder#I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy#how much happiness I’ve missed out on and will continue to miss out on#genuinely do believe if my thighs were skinnier I’d be cured but my therapist says that’s just a symptom of my ED go off ig queen#yk it’s bad when i ghost ed tags#never interact ofc and usually report it#it’s such a fascinating thing to have an addiction to your own body#you can lock yourself away from drugs or booze or blades but you can’t fucking hide yourself from food and your fucking body#the abuse I’ve put my body through since I was 13#sometimes I look at pictures of myself as a little girl and cry thinking about what I’ve done to her body#wow this is depressing lol#idk who needs to hear this but if you’re 13 and plan on ‘going anorexic for the summer’#it doesn’t work that way you’ll still be going anorexic the summer of your 20s#serious buzzkill#tw eating disorder#rae’s rambles#delete later
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